(Answers to be found further on)

1) Red kick into the Blue in goal area from within the 22 metre area.  Blue full back picks up the ball and attempts to run out of the in goal.  He sees his exit cut off so kicks for touch.  The ball strikes the rear of the crossbar and rebounds back over the dead ball line.  How is the game restarted?
2) The Blue centre passes to the Blue wing.  The pass is straight but low.  Before the ball gets to the wing it hits the ground and bounces forward.  The referee awards a scrum to Red.  Was he correct?

One of our referees was so fed up with the abuse etc. that referees sometimes attract, that he thought about joining a monastery, just so he could get some peace and quiet.  He decided to visit one first, to see if it would suit him.  He was shown through many corridors, many rooms and many cells.  He saw monks masturbating, practising sodomy and finally came to three monks in a row, having at each other from the rear.
He was then brought to meet the Abbot.  He told him that after what he had seen he didn't want to be a monk.
"Ah my son," said the Abbot, "Don't be hasty.  You must have patience.  After three years, you'll get to be the man in the middle!"  As far as I know he's still there!